The “Hard” of Change


No matter what kind of change I am going for, it’s change, and therefore different than what I have right now, and that will mean some work. More than likely, it will make me uncomfortable.

But you know what? I can do hard things on purpose.

After a year of soft workouts after two knee surgeries, I started to lift heavy weights again in the last couple of weeks. And it’s very hard. My muscles aren’t used to this kind of work any more.

I do it on purpose because I want to be stronger, and I know lifting heavy weights will make me stronger.

The next version of Me

The more I embrace the discomfort of it, the more I plan it, the more I embrace it, the more I know that it’s part of the deal, the more I begin to think of it as “hurting so good” because I keep in front of me the next version of myself.

When I focus on the value of my life, on the potential in me that can be fulfilled, the hard of change becomes fun.

A Better Me, not a more worthy Me

But the “fun” of hard has nothing to do with becoming more acceptable or more worthy with the change happening. Because, my friends, I am 100% acceptable the way I am. God says it and that settles it for me.

My embracing discomfort is never to become “better;” it has everything to do with simply fulfilling my potential. Going out there and becoming who I am supposed to be can be a hard, delightful adventure.

But the price to pay is discomfort. It is the “hard” of change.

Loving what is on the other side

My brain loves what’s familiar because what is familiar is safe. I like to “rinse and repeat” the things that work and that are safe. Familiarity feels comfortable. And so much more compelling than the “hard” of my long-term goal.

But at the same time, I can choose to look forward to the discomfort of writing that book, lift those weights, accomplish that goal, because I love what is on the other side of hard.

I can embrace the discomfort of growth and accomplish my wildest dreams.

Choose your discomfort

If I am going to be perfectly honest, I have to admit that the familiar isn’t really all that great. There is a lot of discomforts associated with not fulfilling my potential. It’s frustrating. It’s boring.

The discomfort from growth is very different than the discomfort of not fulfilling my potential.

It’s up to me to decide which one I choose to embrace. And it’s up to you to decide which one you choose to embrace.

Imagine the possibilities

Think of all the possibilities that exist for your life.

A huge potential for all your dreams exists right now at this moment. The person you want to be, the body you want to be in, the money you want to make, the person you want to be with. All of those potentials exist, and they are extraordinary.

If we are willing to go through the process of change, we can proceed with our life and fulfil our potential.

Possibility happens when we’re willing to let go of the comfortable of our current situation and embrace who we want to be. They happen when we are willing to do the work and be uncomfortable.

Letting go of comfortable

Letting go of the comfortable is hard.

We have to give up the person who is okay with the life we now have and embrace the person who fulfils his or her potential.  Everything in our brain’s going to scream and tell us to go back to being the person who was comfortable and familiar.

We will need to be deliberate in the discomfort of changing our life on purpose.

If you are saying, “I am a victim and I struggle with XYZ because of it,” you have to be willing to give up being a victim, stop struggling with XYZ and embrace the discomfort that will win that battle.

Your thoughts are your GPS

We will need to keep our thoughts, feelings and actions on the result we know God has for us.

Our thoughts manifest in the result of our life; we will need to be willing to take full responsibility for our results.

If we want to know where we are going, look at our thoughts. They will tell the story.

If we want to change where we are going, we will need to change our thoughts.

Changing our thoughts (and therefore our feelings, actions and results) is hard because it requires awareness. It requires us to be uncomfortable.

Change is hard. Do it anyway. You are so worth it.

Do you know anyone who would benefit from this blog post? Please share away! And tell me, in which way are you ready to embrace change?

Creative Writing: Releasing Weight


“What was the lady’s name who sat to my left yesterday?” Jennifer texts me early Friday morning. “I think I’m going to buy her a little gift to remind her that she is worth the fight,” she adds.

The lady to her left had broken down in tears during our little class the night before. “Yes, she is!” I text back, smiling from ear to ear.

My heart is full.

It all started as a weight loss class. But we quickly decided that we did not want to lose pounds and inches; we want to gain life.

So we meet weekly, and we explore all the kinds of weight that we want to release–weight in our bodies, weight in our hearts, weight in our minds.

At first, we tiptoed around many issues, testing the waters of our safety together. Week after week, we push the boundaries a bit more, daring to peel open more layers of our hearts. And with each new layer, more weight is released.

As I scroll through my Facebook feed this morning, I come across this post from another lady in the class, “I think what I took away from last night’s class was that until you realize you are worth the effort, all of this seems overwhelming or like extra work. But as I looked around the room full of women –many of them I don’t really know–and I listened to what they said, and I wanted to say to everyone, ‘You are sooo worth it!’”  

Oh, you are so getting it, my friend.

We tiptoe less, and we discover that we all fight the same battles. They may manifest themselves in different ways or have different names, but it all comes down to our need to matter, our need to be recognized, to be accepted and valued as we are.

My phone buzzes and this text pops up:

“Your class last night was so fulfilling. It taught me that:

…it’s okay to have “Me” time

…it’s okay to say no

…I love the new Me.”

We are releasing the fear of showing who we truly are. We are finding that it’s safe to be who we truly are.

I love the new “Me” that you are all becoming. I love the victories, one inch of time, of sanity, or joy, of skin, of love at a time.

And I love the community that you are creating.

I salute you, women. You are gaining so much as you release. And you are worth the fight.