We human beings will change just about anything in an attempt to feel better. We’ll get a new haircut or/and new clothes, change our job, buy a new car, house or patio furniture, go see a movie, even move or change spouse.
Yet in the long run, how we look, where we live, what we have, who we hang out with, what we do–none of this changes us on the inside. It may make us feel better for a moment, a week or a month, but it will never, ever sustain the “happy” feeling in us in the long run.
And what’s crazy is, we know it!
In this short blog post, I am going to show you that it is possible to change how you feel, but it might not happen the way you think it will. The truth is so simple, yet so difficult to accept for most of us:
What creates how we feel is not the stuff or people around us, but what we are thinking.
We don’t feel bad because we live in a small apartment–we feel bad because of our thought about the fact that we live in a small apartment.
We aren’t unhappy because of our job or a difficult boss–we feel unhappy because of our thoughts about our job or a difficult boss.
And that’s really very good news because we have been born with the God-given ability to choose our thoughts.
But we have a problem: when it comes to questioning or changing our thoughts, we have convinced ourselves that it is an impossible task.
We believe that our thoughts are just what they are, and that they are not up for discussion.
The irony is, changing our thoughts is the only thing that will actually make us feel better.
But that is very hard work.
What if we really could decide to think about our small apartment, our job or our boss in a way that serves us?
What if we could ask ourselves what feeling we need in order to do well in any situation, and then figure out what thought we need to create in order to have that feeling?
What if we allowed people to be who they are and change our thoughts about them instead of trying to change them?
If we want to feel better, we have to be open to looking at our thoughts and question them.
Where do we begin?
Right here, right now.
Take a minute to answer these questions in writing:
What are my thoughts about my current situation?
What am I telling yourself that my situation means? By the way, situations are neutral–they carry no feelings. Our interpretation of it is what causes us harm or well-being
And that’s the absolute truth.
Change your interpretation, and you will change your life experience!
DOing this kind of work destroys overwhelm. It’s fascinating and life-changing! If you would like some help in figuring out how to change your thoughts in a particular situation, book a free mini-session with me; I’d love to help you!
Was this helpful to you? Please share it if it was. Most of us need to change our thoughts more than our haircuts.