Creative Writing: Oceans of Impossibility

The worship song stirs my soul and brings tears to my eyes. I listen, mesmerized. And  I cannot join in because I know I would be lying, and God is listening.

 

“Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.”

 

I don’t want to trust that far. I don’t think I ever will be able to. I need to keep some control.

 

All I can do is whisper, “Please bring me to that kind of trust, Jesus. I want to sing this to You one day.”

 

So His wonderful sweet Spirit goes to work in my heart, and I find myself able to sing with all of my heart, “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.”

 

Yes, Lord. I want to trust that far. I don’t need to keep any control.

 

And the years go by, and Jesus and I, we grow close to each other. I learn to trust Him more, and I even find myself praying, “Oh for grace to trust You more.”

 

Until today.

 

Today, I am in front of an ocean that I cannot cross. No amount of human wisdom or strength can help me, and my soul feels hopeless. Tired. So saddened. Overwhelmed.

 

My spirit is heavy within me and I know that I need to eat some heavenly food, so I run to Psalm 25 and read it aloud to myself, chew on it for a while, let its truth travel down to my very belly. But the weariness doesn’t leave.

 

“Come sit with me awhile,” I sense Him saying.

 

I curl up on the couch with a blanket, turn on some worship music and I try to pray, but all I can do is wonder why He brought me thus far to simply put me in front of the impossible.

 

I dissolve into tears, but I don’t hear His voice. All I know to do is to sit there, quieting my noisy, exhausted, defeated self before Him.

 

Worship music fills my home, but my tears fill my soul. When they run their course, I wipe my wet cheeks and feel just as lost as I was before I sat down. But then, as clear as the voice of an angel, I hear this sentence swirling around me, “Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander.”

 

And these words, they carry the heaviness away. They lift the sadness right off of my soul, just like that. Because I get it. My Jesus, He loves me that much!

 

He loves me enough to take me deeper than my feet can stand. He loves me enough to call me out upon the waters where feet may fail, because He knows that I will find Him in the mystery.

 

And in oceans deep, my faith will stand.

And I will know His love.

And I will rest in Him.

 

And the ocean, it doesn’t stand a chance.

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