Creative Writing: What I lost

They said it would be wonderful. They said I had nothing to lose.

I went ahead and had both my knees replaced. The recovery was long and painful, and it wasn’t wonderful at first.

And I did lose a lot.

They did not tell me the truth.

I lost my ability to be on all fours comfortably.

And I lost my fear of pain. Because pain is simply a sensation that comes and goes, and I now know that God never comes and goes. He stays right here through it all.

I lost my ability to run (for now) because one of my new knees isn’t behaving well.

And I lost my judgment of physical limitations. Because physical limitations do happen to the best of us, and I now know that God isn’t hindered by them.

I lost the naive expectation that a knee replacement is like having a brand new part.

And I lost the idea that brand new makes me stronger. Because strength comes from the inside out as I weave myself together with God.

I lost the notion that it’s just up to me to make my body my machine.

And I lost my dangerous need to be in charge of things. Because control is what I must relinquish for the joy of being led by my Savior.

 

“Go ahead and get it done,” they said. “It will be wonderful. You have nothing to lose.”

I went ahead and had both my knees replaced. The recovery was a long process of discovering truth. And truth is wonderful.

Sometimes, the “nothing” you lose is exactly what you needed to lose.

They absolutely did tell me the truth.

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