They said it would be wonderful. They said I had nothing to lose.
I went ahead and had both my knees replaced. The recovery was long and painful, and it wasn’t wonderful at first.
And I did lose a lot.
They did not tell me the truth.
I lost my ability to be on all fours comfortably.
And I lost my fear of pain. Because pain is simply a sensation that comes and goes, and I now know that God never comes and goes. He stays right here through it all.
I lost my ability to run (for now) because one of my new knees isn’t behaving well.
And I lost my judgment of physical limitations. Because physical limitations do happen to the best of us, and I now know that God isn’t hindered by them.
I lost the naive expectation that a knee replacement is like having a brand new part.
And I lost the idea that brand new makes me stronger. Because strength comes from the inside out as I weave myself together with God.
I lost the notion that it’s just up to me to make my body my machine.
And I lost my dangerous need to be in charge of things. Because control is what I must relinquish for the joy of being led by my Savior.
“Go ahead and get it done,” they said. “It will be wonderful. You have nothing to lose.”
I went ahead and had both my knees replaced. The recovery was a long process of discovering truth. And truth is wonderful.
Sometimes, the “nothing” you lose is exactly what you needed to lose.
They absolutely did tell me the truth.