When I was a little girl, I dreamed of becoming a queen.
When I became a teenager, I dreamed of marrying an American and moving to Canada.
That would be so cool, I thought.
I grew up, and I became part of a Kingdom in which I am royalty.
I married an American serviceman and somehow, we moved to Canada.
But somehow, at some point, like most people, I found myself in a story I did not plan for myself.
A child dies before his time or becomes sad. A friend wounds us deeply, and we discover that we have a long way to go in order to tap into true forgiveness. An accident robs us of the future we had planned and leaves us with broken pieces that we seek to put together again. A surgery doesn’t go as planned and we need to adjust our plans. Our lives. Our dreams.
And we don’t want to. We just want to be the queen who married an American and moved to Canada. We want to live our best life.
And the crazy thing is, we still can.
Even when the story we find ourselves in doesn’t match the one we intended to live.
When I became a life coach, I learned that thoughts become reality. Science backs this up, and so does my experience. When I think like a loser, I act like a loser, and I become a loser. What I allow my mind to dwell on becomes what I experience.
Pretty straight forward, right?
But anyone who has lived more than thirty years has learned that stuff happens. So how do we fit a cute little saying like “my thoughts become my reality” with finding ourselves in a strange, uninvited story?
How does that all work when unexpected circumstances wrap themselves around our hearts?
Nothing changes. Because circumstances aren’t what we are.
Reality isn’t wrapped up in marrying an American and moving to Canada; reality is wrapped up in what we say about the story we find ourselves in. Reality is what we choose to dwell on when our child is sad, or the friend betrays us, or the accident leaves us lame or widowed. Or Prince Charming never came. Or he came and he left.
The thoughts we engage with, they become our reality.
It’s like a dance, you know.
Thoughts pop into our heads, mostly uninvited, and they flirt with us a bit. We hesitate. We wonder. They call us into the dance, and we are curious. So we take a few timid steps on the dance floor. And then, we decide to commit or to retract.
And the thoughts, these sentences in our heads, once we commit to them, they become who we are. They become our reality.
It’s really that simple. It’s really that serious.
I choose joy in the story I am living.