Want to Know How to Carve out Time for Yourself?

Time for Self

We all know we need time away to regenerate, but finding it seems an impossible task.

Why is it so darn difficult for us moms to take out time for ourselves? Let me count the ways: baby needs to be fed, sippy cups must be washed, the toddler is throwing a fit instead of taking her nap, laundry is piling up, toys are all over the place, 52 emails in my inbox, and my mother-in-law needs a ride downtown. Plus about a million more reasons.

It’s just not feasible. Might as well give up.

I beg to differ.

Let’s talk about Time

Have you ever noticed how you can perceive the same 10 minutes as excruciating long or as ridiculously fast? Yet ten minutes is always 600 seconds long, no matter what.

Time gets away from us. We run after it. We spend it. We save it. We enjoy it.

Time is how we measure the moments of our lives. So taking time out for yourself is simply taking moments out for yourself. It needs not be a complicated task.

Don’t stress about taking time out for yourself. Breathe into it, and keep reading. There is a way.

Let’s talk about Carving

“Carving out time” for yourself is an interesting expression, isn’t it?

The definition of carve is “to cut so as to form something.”

Did you hear it? “CUT SO AS TO FORM SOMETHING.”

This has nothing to do with stealing time from your kids, your responsibilities, your life. It has everything to do with forming something, creating a life worth living, a life filled with purpose and joy.

When all is said and done, isn’t that what your kids, your husband, your job, your community longs for? A mom, a wife, an employee, a friend and neighbor filled with purpose and joy is exactly what will get the job done!

Let’s talk about Thoughts

If carving out time for yourself feels selfish, it is because of a thought about it that produces the feeling of selfishness. Our actions and results won’t be positive if that is where our mind is set. What story are you telling yourself about the time you choose to spend on yourself? to invest on yourself?

That story will determine your feeling.

Once you realize that the story you are telling yourself is causing you to fight against carving time out for yourself, you are ready to change the story. What thought (a thought is a sentence in your head) can you create that will help you on your journey to making time for you? This thought must be true to you.

Here are some examples of thoughts–or stories–that you could adopt: I am a better mom when I have time for me, this will reenergize me so I can do what I need to do, this is necessary to keep my sanity, my husband will love to see me refreshed, I can be more productive when I am not stressed, taking time out for myself will remove my stress.

Click Here is a great little video that might help.

Let’s talk about being practical:

Choose YOU!

Make a simple decision that you have needs that ought to be met, just like everybody else that you take care of. As you really make YOU a priority, you will actually discover that there is time available for you, even if it is just a moment at a time.

Schedule YOU!

Take a good look at your week, and book out some time that you can do something just for you. It needs not be a five-hour window. It’s amazing what a 10 minutes soak in the tub does for the soul.

Unless there is a true emergency, don’t cancel on yourself. I probably have looked selfish many a time when I walked out of a meeting that went over the scheduled time because I knew I had a date with myself. But I know that this is what keeps me sane, and in the long run, much more enjoyable for the people around me.

Most importantly, the world will keep on spinning while you are taking time out for you! And that by itself is a serious revelation!

Commit with Others

Sometimes, it’s best to involve girlfriends in your “regeneration” time. If you sign up for a weekly exercise class with a friend, you are less likely to break the commitment than if you go at it alone.

Trade Time

Connect with other moms and barter babysitting. As a result, you will give yourself the precious gift of time as well as foster a stronger community.

Be Creative

Maybe you aren’t in a season where you can savor a long cup of coffee on Saturday morning. But that doesn’t mean you can’t listen to a great podcast while you fold the laundry. Take a look at your favorite ways to pamper yourself and figure out how you can fit them in your current reality.

“Everything is figure-outable.”

I believe it.

You are worth it.

 

What did you take away from this post? How are you going to carve out time for yourself? Tell us in the comments, we can all use new ideas! And if this was useful to you, please share it with your friends!

And feel free to sign up for your Wednesday Smiles by filling out the box at the top of this page. Wednesday Smiles is a short email that comes to your inbox on Wednesdays to hopefully make you smile… and who can’t use an extra one of those?

Do You have a Board of Directors for your Life?

Companies have mission statements and board of directors that keep them accountables, but most individuals do not.

What if you did?

What would your own Life Board of Directors look like?

Close your eyes for a moment and imagine it:

  • It is made of 2-5 people to whom you reach out regularly, as well as when life gets confusing or super exciting.
  • They are open to you asking them for advice, brainstorm new possibilities, build accountability and support you
  • You get to reciprocate the favor.

It would be like having a new compass in life.

You do not live or work in isolation.

Our lives are certainly the result of our own choices, but we can all benefit from the wisdom, experience, perspective and feedback of others whom we value in order to make those choices.

A board of directors has many benefits:

  • It helps you stay on track and honest as you grow,
  • It teaches you transparency,
  • It is a great sounding board,
  • It puts you in a position where you make yourself accountable,
  • It can point you to possible red lights,
  • It can uncover your blind spots,
  • It gives you a sense of community–you are not alone.

 

Every study points to the fact that having a dream is not enough–you need accountability.

You have to own your dream. You have to set goals that are realistic and not too broad. You have be consciously decide to achieve it, then be specific and committed. Then, you have to have a WHEN and an HOW.

This is where your board of directors comes in!

When you have a specific, scheduled and regular accountability appointments with someone (or someones) who has made it clear that they are committed to you, you not only feel compelled to honor them, but you also stop making easy excuses, you work hard, you are keenly aware that your actions will be measured.

And your performance dramatically increases.

Who should be on your life board of directors?

The success of your board will depend on the depth of the mutual relationship.

It matters who is on your board. It’s not specifically going to be your best friend. Here are ways to find the members of your board:

  • Look for someone who
    • can keep his/her distance.
    • is not afraid to call you out on things
    • can be “light” to help you reenergize when necessary
  • Look for someone you admire and has the skills you want to develop
  • Don’t be hindered by age. You may want to have some much younger or much older people on your board, as they offer a completely different perspective.

Wanna get started?

1. Make a list of 10-12 various people who could be on your board.

2. Widdle it down to 3-6.

3. Make a specific plan of what that accountability/think tank partnership would look like:

  • How often would you meet
  • Do you want them to ask questions or do you want to speak first and have them respond?
  • How will you be kept accountable?
  • How long is the meeting?
  • Is it a video meeting or an in-person meeting?
  • How will you reciprocate?

4. Approach people and get the ball rolling by having an informal dinner with all the possible candidates and presenting your visions for the board.

Do you have experience with a board of directors? Do tell in the comments! And if you know someone who could use this blog post, don’t be selfish–please share!