As a Mom, how do you handle the frustration of Overwhelm?

Maybe your to-do list is a mile long. Or maybe your child takes three hours to eat seven bites. Or he constantly defies your authority.

You can feel overwhelm creeping in.

Your breathing becomes shallow. You feel like you are going to explode, or scream, or all you want to do is run away from the sensation of pressure in your belly.

Been there, done that.

S.T.O.P.

Well, it’s not quite as easy as that.

Or is it?

Ending the cycle of frustration and overwhelm start with recognizing it.

Where does the cycle start? 

Think about it for a moment: what begins the frustration or overwhelm?

It’s always something like this:

  • a situation
  • that brings about a thought (mental image, sentence inside your head)
  • which creates feelings
  • which cause you to act or not act
  • and result in a result.

Let’s translate this into real life:

  • Situation: My child isn’t eating his hot dog
  • Thought: I will be late for my business appointment
  • Feeling: belly churning
  • Act: I tell her firmly to hurry up and put the last three bites in her mouth
  • Result: she cries, I scream, I get all sweaty and angry and can’t concentrate on the meeting that is at end.

It’s not the situation that creates overwhelm and frustration.

The fact that she doesn’t want to eat her hot dog is not objectively frustrating or overwhelming.

What caused the frustration is your thought about the fact that she doesn’t want to eat her hot dog. Your thought triggered you.

 

So the first step in the process is to S.T.O.P.  and observe.

Until we recognize the thought that triggered the feeling that brought about the action and ultimately the result, we will continue to feel frustrated and overwhelmed.

Easier said than done.

It’s time to ask questions.

To help ourselves understand what stands behind our immediate reaction to a situation, it is helpful to ask questions.

In our example, we could start like this: why do I get angry when she doesn’t eat her hot dog?

Let’s play with it a while, shall we?

Why do I get angry when she doesn’t eat her hot dog? Because she needs to eat.

So what if she doesn’t eat? I’ll have to stay here a while.

So what? I’ll be late for my appointment.

So what? I’ll lose the new client.

So what? I’ll lose potential income.

So what? I won’t have enough money.

Hmm… now we are getting to the core of the hot dog frustration, aren’t we?

It really has nothing to do with the hot dog. It has everything to do with my thoughts.

Freedom comes with insight

Next, when my To Do list gets out of control and I get overwhelmed, I start the same process of asking myself questions, and I find out that at the bottom of it all is a fear of not having enough time.

Before long, I realize that all of my overwhelm and frustrations stem from a sense of not having enough.

Now I am ready to start. Why am I telling myself that I don’t have enough? What story am I entertaining in my head? How could I change it?

Eventually, overwhelm gets kicked to the curb and I begin to create thoughts that serve me instead. 

Caution!

It takes practice to realize what our mind is telling us. It takes training to develop our capacity to observe what is going on.

It takes time.

And we all feel like we don’t have enough time.

But let me ask you: do you trade your time for things that don’t help in the long run? For things that keep you overwhelmed and frustrated?

Here is the truth: those who are willing to put in the time necessary to train the mind will never, ever run out of time in life. They will never need to be stuck in overwhelm or frustration because they will always have the tools necessary to make a way out.

And that’s a promise you can take to the bank!

I created a FREE email course on Thought Creation to help you begin your journey. Check it out here.

 

This is how I have been helping my clients in my coaching business with great results. Now I am bringing the same message to kids with my very first Children’s Book, Waiting for Isaiah. I can’t wait to see how it helps littles! Please share the love by sharing this post with your friends who could use it!

 

 

 

Help is on the Way! Seven Steps in Creating New Thoughts

I keep saying that the key to your freedom from overwhelm is less in changing your circumstances than in creating new thoughts.

Every sustainable change in your life is linked to choosing thoughts that serve you and move you towards the change you desire.

You are allowed to choose your thoughts concerning your circumstance. Actually, that is great news: you aren’t  stuck with life as it is. You can decide on the story you tell yourself about your day-to-day life.

And you all answer by asking me a question: How the heck do we do that?

So here is Creating New Thoughts 101:

The basic process is as follows

  • Become aware of your thoughts,
  • Clean them up if necessary,
  • Create new ones, and
  • Practice them.

As Human Beings, we have the amazing ability to use our minds to change our brains!

Thoughts are Structures in our Brain

After we think a thought for a while, it starts to become automatic and we are no longer aware that we are thinking that thought anymore.  It occupies mental real estate in our brain.

If our goal is to replace a thought that works against us with one that is a benefit to us, we need to first recognize it and let it go. If we created that thought, we can get rid of it.

Then, we need to begin creating a new brain structure that will in time become automatic. 

We human beings are amazing neuro-plasticians.

Grab a piece of paper and let’s get very practical!

Step 1: What thought do you need to replace? 

First, write down ONE thought that you think a lot that is not helping your life:

Example: “My recovery from this knee surgery is taking way too long.,”

 


 

Step 2: Why do you think you need to replace that thought?

Think through the reason this thought is harmful to you. What kind of results is it bringing about?

Example: “This thought is fueling feelings of discouragement and I the more I think it, the more want to give up.”

 


 

Step 3: What new results do you want?

What results would you rather have instead of your present ones?

Example: “I want my knee to get to the place where it’s better than it ever was!”

 


 

Step 4: What kind of feeling would fuel this new result you want?

Next, identify and write down the ONE feeling that would fuel the result you want:  

Example: Commitment, Hope, Focus, etc.

 


 

Step 5: Brainstorm thoughts that would fuel that feeling.

Your feelings come about because of thoughts that you are entertaining. You feel happy because you think someone loves you. Give yourself two minutes and write down all the thoughts that come to your mind.

Example: “I am right where I need to be.” “I only need to keep going every day.” “My future is worth the work.” “I can do this one day at a time.”

 


 

Step 6: Pick One

Out of all these thoughts, which one rings the “truest”? Which one could you begin to practice?

Make sure this is a thought that you know to be true and that you can commit 100 % to believe it.

 


 

Step 7: Practice your new thought!

Next, tell your mind to think it on purpose.

There are many ways to think on purpose and we will explore them next Monday.

For now, tell us in the comments how this exercise has helped you. And as always, if this was useful to you, please share the love!